Is this where the magic seeps in?

Is it in these cracks between the window panes of blurry day to day- day to day day to day. Between the slow and steady, fulfilling angle grind of tidying, vaccuming, dishes, slow walks, pointing and explaining? Is it in these little glimpses of willpower that burn steady, like ember, that glow late at night with cups of tea, and in early morning, before the house awakens and begins another day to day, day to day, day to day. And in these tiny brackets of time can come wildly monolithic to do lists, spirling up and up like church spires among which include self mastery, passionate romance, entrepeneurship, pamepering, friendship and relaxation? So brief, before the slip into the day to day, day to day, day to day. I heard many say that giving birth to another human, opening up and allowing life to tear it's way from your body, and come wailing into a feeling existance, is walking through a gateway, a door. In reflecting over this past year, I liken it more to getting drugged, kidnapped, and awoken whilst you are hurtling out of an airplane, with a parachute that yes, still functions, but you have 0.5 seconds to translate the instructions on opening before you hit the ground. Boom. And there you land. In this strange new world, a funhouse version of your old life, where all the creatures that you see, all the trees, are an angled reflection of what was, and what you had blocked up inside your body to be true. And everywhere around, step by step, is the sound of shattering glass. The shattering of ideals, of values, of a sense of self, of a story that once kept you safe, kept you strong. And naked, you are wandering through this augmented land, grasping, and fumbling for some inch of a sense of control- relishing in the seconds when your hands are strong enough to keep the wheel straight, if only for a moment. And in those moments, the world fills with sunshine. A golden glow with a warmth never before touched by such shaking hands as yours. A fullness, a richness to every texture - as if everything surface is bursting with the presence of god herself. Thankfully, the further you walk, the more of these moments there are. Untill the path leads you here - a year and some into this strange new land, and managing to eek out what feeds you, in the corners and cracks of the day. To burn through willpower throughout the day, and poke the embers at night to fuel a little, just a little, of something for me.